The songs I can't stop listening to (10/31/12)

1. Sam Bush - "Big Mon"
2. Panic! At The Disco - "Behind The Sea"
3. Xiu Xiu - "Gray Death"
4. Ferraby Lionheart - "Before We're Dead"
5. Girls - "Solitude"
6. The Hundred In The Hands - "Pigeons"
7. Turn Off Your Television - "I Just Cleaned The Floor"
8. Zola Jesus - "Trust Me"
9. Graham Colton - "First Week"
10. John Vanderslice - "Time To Go"

Blue-grasm. A couple of people know what that means because I coined it. For the rest of you, well, it should be self-evident.

We're all too small to talk to God
Yes, we're all too smart to talk to God

You were beautiful when I loved you
...
You were beautiful when I lost you

I still believe there's time to live before we're dead

But if I settle down though
It won't be with the blues
So I'll keep on moving right along
Maybe I'll settle down with you
Someday
Some you

He is here and not here at all.

I just cleaned the floor and it feels better than before...

(A simple, yet profound song about how good it feels to clean things up. Maybe there's a deeper meaning, or maybe it's just about fucking organizing things inside and and out and...oh, oh, oh, there's the deeper meaning.)

This Zola Jesus song may be my favorite discovery of the past month. Just...wow.

When you're lost never look down
When you're lost know I'll be around
In the meantime when you are found
I'll be here
I told you to trust me
Yes in the meantime I'll be here
Trust me
I know that you're afraid but I'm here
Hanging on
Trust me
'Cause I will be here
I told you to trust me

Are you far away, in a new life?
Are you wearing the same dress that you wore
When we met the first night?
Are you feeling it, in a different time?
Are you telling the same jokes that you told me
When we met the first time?

We'll never make it back
It's time to go
Been banished to the cracks
Of molten ash
Don't know what you had
It's time to go

Steady Pull

In the 90's, quite a few female singer-songwriters got their due. Quite a few didn't, in my opinion. Jonatha Brooke is one who didn't quite get the platform she should have had. She started out with The Story years and years ago and then went off on her own a while later. Steady Pull was released on her own label, and while I don't love every song on the record, the ones that are good are OH MY GOD good. Here are the ones I love the most.

1. Walking
2. Red Dress
3. Your House
4. New Dress (with Neil Finn)
5. I'll Take It From Here
6. What We Are
7. Deny

I'm walking in your shoes, for just a mile or two
My heels are raw and torn, but I will dig them in for you
I see the pain you've known, and the seeds of hate you've sown
They're scattered on the ground, and I can barely step around
...
Insanity and pain, who will take the
Blame beyond your will and whimsy
No excuses, no more flimsy lies

I'm running out of faith
And I'm tired of saving face
And where the hell is grace
In this forsaken place

Sheesh.



Well we all get what we deserve 
I get him and you get her 
Given the chance I still defer 
And maybe we will always wonder 
Why, it came to this



Take me down to your house 
Show me where you live 
Room by room, all the things you cherish 
 Tell me where you're going 
Show me where you've been 
Year by year, all the things that you wished



I'm afraid you'll see right through me 
But I'm afraid that I will never get enough...



This next song is just incredible...well, they all are, but this record is so uplifting, so healing...

Everything that I held true has failed me 
And nothing is as clear as it once seemed 
You have told me who I am and what to do and where to go 
I have listened and I'm trapped inside your dream 

 But I'll take it from here 
I'll succeed or I will fail but I will decide 
I'll take it from here 
Catch my breath and count to ten and 
Open my eyes... 
Again



And this is God's own creation 
And it is such a familiar scene 
The endless conversation of missing you 
Of things not being what they seem 

What we are and what we were 
Will never be the same 
What we are and what we were 
Will never be the same 

So I will love without misgiving 
This crooked little heart I give to you 
'Cause there's order in the meaning 
Of all that's innocent but true



Oh my Lord, why's it taken you so long? 
To give me grace and the dignity to right these wrongs 
I will lead today, and I will follow you tomorrow 
When the gloaming of my life, brings the promise of a peaceful night 

And there's just one thing that I need to know 
That you will not deny, you will not deny me now

The songs I can't stop listening to (10/19/12)

Songs that reflect our political situation, songs that reflect renewed hope as regards life and love, The Stone Roses 'splaining a few things in one of my favorite kiss-off songs off all time, and also, I've been listening to a lot of instrumental music lately. I've been on a classical kick, but this time we've got the great American composer Copland, as well as great jazz from Cannonball Adderley and just pure genius from Sufjan Stevens.

1. Radiohead - "The Daily Mail"
2. Leftover Salmon - "This Is The Time"
3. Aaron Copland: "Nocturne" (played by Gil Shaham & Andre Previn)
4. Collective Soul - "Precious Declaration"
5. The Stone Roses - "I Am The Resurrection"
6. Local Natives - "World News"
7. Tori Amos - "Professional Widow (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' Mix)"
8. Sufjan Stevens - "Movement II: Sleeping Invader"
9. Cannonball Adderley - "Clouds"


The moon is high up on a mountain
The lunatics have taken over the asylum
Waiting on the rapture
...
Where's the truth what's the use
I'm hanging around lost and found
And when you're here innocent
Fat chance, no plan
No regard for human life

This isn't a time for giving up
This is the time to be strong
I know life is never easy
When you're holding out so long

I know that we can make it
With a little bit of faith to get us by
This isn't the time for faking
This is the time for us to fly

This isn't the time for fighting
This is the time for peace
Whether you're on the left
Or the right wing
This is the time for release

We don't have time to count our mistakes
We can leave them in the past
This isn't the time for keeping score
It's time to make the moment last

This isn't the time for losing hope
This is the time to learn
Well, I know we can find out way
If you're ready to receive

There's always so much to learn
As you wander through this life
And timing is everything
This is the time, the night

(written by Drew Emmitt, all rights reserved)

This Copland Nocturne is just exquisite. Copland is exquisite.

Once i jumped through hoops of fire
High and far as you required
I was blind but now I see
Salvation has discovered me

Don't waste your words I don't need
Anything from you
I don't care where you've been or 
What you plan to do

I am the resurrection and I am the life
I couldn't ever bring myself
To hate you as I'd
Like

your phone goes off with a picture of your mother
it's five to six and she can't find your brother
and while normally you'd yell and scream
instructing her to go and find him on her own
but calmly you're exiting,
and telling her that you are headed on your way home
she does not know what to say,
just glad you're on your way home
you turn off your phone in a different tone
as you think,
the bad feeling so bad makes the good so good

honey bring it close to my lips
it's gotta be big

Sufjan Stevens work is mostly genius level, but his instrumental compositions are quite a revelation.

And then round it out with a little bossa nova.

Brahms: Serenade No. 1 in D Major, Op. 11

This is my soundtrack for the evening. And also the second Serenade, which I may post later.

Mix CD!

Somebody gave me a mix CD. This makes me happy, because I am still 16 in many ways, and I love giving and receiving mixtapes. Why people no do this anymore? (Oh yeah, because iTunes blah blah blah) I knew a lot of the music on it, but there were a few pleasant surprises from artists whose music I already loved, as well as a few things from people I'd never heard. Here are my favorite songs from this mix:

1. P!nk - "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)"
2. Yeasayer - "Reagan's Skeleton"
3. Jason Mraz - "You Fckn Did It" (live)
4. Vampire Weekend - "I'm Goin' Down" (Bruce Springsteen cover)
5. K'Naan - "Wavin' Flag"
6. Jonathan Clay - "Heart On Fire"
7. David Guetta ft. Sia - "Titanium"

I adore P!nk, but I tend to do it from afar, as I do with most Top 40 music. Yes, I have lots of it on my iTunes, but it's not what I listen to on a regular basis. So, I didn't know this P!nk song, except maybe overhearing it on the radio somewhere, or in a friend's car or something. Regardless, I've been paying more and more attention to her ever since that Grammy performance of "Glitter In The Air."


Yeasayer is a band I absolutely adore, but I hadn't heard much of their new stuff. "Madder Red" from their Odd Blood record is probably one of my favorite songs of the past several years.


Jason Mraz, another one I adore. I have the record this song is from, but apparently I do not have the special "deluxe" version, which includes this song.


Vampire Weekend. Love this band, and always have. Didn't know they had tackled this Springsteen song. The results are pleasing.


So, this K'Naan song really hits a certain nerve in my musical taste. I have the wanderlust, especially as regards exploring places like Africa where I've never been, and where American travelers don't as often venture. Granted, the song is considerably more commercial and pop-py than, say, something from Amadou & Mariam, but it's also got that whole "we are the world, we are the children, we are all tied together in one big global community" vibe, and that resonates with me, in both cheesy and valid ways. Makes me want to explore.


So this Jonathan Clay song came from a Hannah Montana or Miley Cyrus movie or something? I would never have noticed. A sweet, simple love song.


David Guetta is something that I have seen posted on gay men's Facebook walls (I am a gay man, so I am talking shit about my own), much like I have seen that Scissor Sisters "Kiki" song on their walls, and have thus summarily ignored. That said, Sia is kinda cool, and this song works.

Cassadaga

Cassadaga is one of the best out of Bright Eyes' oeuvre. If you're feeling existential or lost, this record will either help, or maybe it'll just help you wallow. Regardless, it's brilliant.

1. "Four Winds"
2. "When The Brakeman Comes My Way"
3. "Hot Knives"
4. "Make A Plan To Love Me"
5. "Classic Cars" [ft. Gillian Welch]
6. "Middleman"
7. "No One Would Riot For Less"
8. "Lime Tree"

The Bible is blind. The Torah is deaf. The Qur'an is mute.
If you burned them all together you'd get close to the truth

When panic grips your body and your heart is a hummingbird
Raven thoughts blacken your mind until you're breathing in reverse
All your friends and sedatives mean well but make it worse
Every reassurance just magnifies the doubt
Better find yourself a place to level out

Oh, I've made love, yeah, I've been fucked, so what?
I'm a cartoon, you're a full moon, let's stay up

Life is too short
Death doesn't ask
It don't owe you that

Some things you lose
You don't get back
So just know what you have

And make a plan to love me sometime soon

And I keep looking for that blindfold faith
Lighting candles to a cynical saint
Who wants the last laugh at the fly trapped in the windowsill tape
You can go right out of your mind trying to escape
From the panicked paradox of day to day
If you can't understand something then it's best to be afraid
...
And they keep moving at a glacial pace
Turning circles in a memory maze
I made a new cast of the death mask that is gonna cover my face
I had to change the combination to the safe
Hide it all behind a wall let people wait
And never trust a heart that is so bent it can't break

So I have become the Middleman
The gray areas are fine
The 'I don't know, the 'maybe so'
Is the only real reply
It is the only true reply

So love me now
Hell is coming
Kiss my mouth
Hell is here
...
Wake, Baby, wake but leave that blanket around you there is nowhere as safe
I'm leaving this place but there is nothing I'm planning to take
Just you

Don't be so amazing or I'll miss you too much
I felt something that I had never touched
...
So pleased with a daydream that now living is no good
I took off my shoes and walked into the woods
I felt lost and found with every step I took

And those are the words that end the record. Composing and songwriting are truly a weird art. Either experience is transcendent or there are Muses guiding writers along their/our ways. I think it's both.

The songs I can't stop listening to 10/13/12

Love. Loss. Transition. Healing. Rebirth.

1. Bon Iver - "Skinny Love"
2. Los Campesinos! - "Miserabilia"
3. Brandi Carlile - "A Promise To Keep"
4. Craig Armstrong feat. Elizabeth Fraser - "This Love"
5. The Kills - "DNA"
6. Bowerbirds - "Knives, Snakes and Mesquite"
7. Lambchop - "Is A Woman"
8. Kinetic Stereokids - "Twisted Thoughts"
9. Jimmy Eat World - "The Middle"


Come on skinny love just last the year 
Pour a little salt we were never here 
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my 
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer 

 I tell my love to wreck it all 
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall 
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my 
Right in the moment this order's tall 

And I told you to be patient 
And told you to be fine 
And I told you to be balanced 
And I told you to be kind 
In the morning I'll be with you 
But it will be a different "kind" 
I'll be holding all the tickets 
And you'll be owning all the fines 

Come on skinny love what happened here 
Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere 
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my 
Sullen load is full; so slow on the split 

And I told you to be patient 
And I told you to be fine 
And I told you to be balanced 
And I told you to be kind
And now all your love is wasted? 
And then who the hell was I? 
And now I'm breaking at the britches 
And at the end of all your lines 

Who will love you? 
Who will fight? 
Who will fall far behind?

(lyrics by Justin Vernon; all rights reserved)

He whispered,
"Oh my God, this really is a joy to behold"
I thought he said "it's a joy to be held" so I held him too close.
It was a grave mistake, he never came back again

I still talk to you in my sleep
I don't say much 'cause the hurt runs too deep
I gave you the moon and the stars to keep
But you gave them back to me

The hill I'm walkin' up is gettin' good and steep
But I'm still looking for a promise even I can't keep

...

I still whisper sweet words to you
And when I'm busy with nothing to do
I pray to God that my words might ring true
And that your words might reach me too

...

My heart's in piece's so please understand
I'm tryin' to jump but I've nowhere to land
So give me your heart and I'll give you my hand
And try as goddamn hard as I can

(lyrics by Brandi Carlile; all rights reserved)

This love
This love is a strange love
A faded kind of mellow
This love
This love
I think I'm gonna fall again

True I had my chance
True true true I had those wild charms for you
And oh oh oh oh oh my fire burned them out

But we will not be moved by it.

And I am a peach down in the forest of knives, snake and mesquite,
Where all is a dream, all eyes on me, and I bite my nails till they bleed

I see your claws come off and your knees come out
Like an iceberg, like a secret offer.
Sailing the waves of that icy morning,
While all in between there's a new wind blowing.

Sit beside me on a star
If you wake me up tonight

You are now at a deeper, healthier level
Deeper than before

...

Every day in every way I'm getting better and better
Healthier and healthier
Happier and happier

That's for sure.

Hey 
You know they're all the same
You know you're doing better on your own so don't buy in
Live right now
Just be yourself
It doesn't matter if that's good enough for someone else

...

Hey
Don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on
Just do your best
Do everything you can
Don't you worry what their bitter hearts are going to say

The songs I can't stop listening to 10/6/12

This mix is schizophrenic on the subject of love. That's all.

1. Ra Ra Riot - "Too Dramatic"
2. Diamond Rings - "It's Not My Party"
3. Simon & Garfunkel - "The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)"
4. North Highlands - "Here's"
5. Love Is All - "Bigger Bolder"
6. Coldplay - "Clocks"
7. J. Roddy Walston and The Business - "Used To Did"
8. Dirty Projectors - "A Labor More Restful"

You're too dramatic 
I don't understand it



and if you wanna throw a party i can cry tonight 
you would cry too if it happened to you right 
i keep falling in and out of love with you
i never loved anyone the way i do 
you



I got no deeds to do 
No promises to keep 
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep 
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me 
Life I love you, all is groovy



When's the last time we out of our way just to be together?
... 
We don't care anymore
... 
This is where fun goes to die
This is where love grows old and tired
...
We will grow apart



Faster, louder 
My love for you 
Bigger, bolder 
My love for you 

There's no sense trying to make this smart 
I simply hate every minute that we're apart



You are, you are 

And nothing else compares



I used to did 
But now I didn't 
I used to did 
But now I didn't 
I used to did did a did a did 
Did did love you

 Simple as that, really.



Have you stopped looking 
In order to put yourself 
To some real purpose 
Or have you simply found a labor more restful 
Than big hearted yearning 
And knowing that you're incomplete



 As I said, schizophrenic.

Digital Ash In A Digital Urn

I think I'm going to listen to Bright Eyes non-stop for a couple of weeks.

1. Gold Mine Gutted
2. Arc Of Time (Time Code)
3. Take It Easy (Love Nothing)
4. Ship In A Bottle
5. Light Pollution
6. Easy/Lucky/Free

But you think about yourself too much and you ruin who you love.



So you nurse your love like a wounded dove in the covered cage of night. Every star is crossed by frenetic thoughts that separate and then collide.



But if you stay too long inside my memory, I will trap you in a song tied to a melody and I will keep you there so you can't bother me.



I want to be the surgeon that cuts you open and fixes all of life's mistakes. I want to be the house that you were raised in. The only place where you feel safe.



I bet the stars seemed so close at the end.

I am obsessed with this song.



Honey don't you weep. Don't you weep for them. There is nothing as lucky, as easy or free.