The songs I can't stop listening to 12/28/12

1. Joseph Arthur - "Gypsy Faded"
2. Autolux - "Headless Sky"
3. Hunx And His Punx - "Too Young To Be In Love"
4. Fiona Apple - "Paper Bag"
5. Talib Kweli & Z-Trip - "Fly Away"
6. Tori Amos - "Pancake" (with "Ohio" [Neil Young] bridge)
7. Chicago - "25 Or 6 To 4"
8. Björk - "Hunter"

Theme songs for my Christmas holiday...some of them follow a pattern, others don't.

"Gypsy Faded" (written by Joseph Arthur, all rights reserved)

I'm ready and I'm letting go now
That is what I'm doing
And that's what this turmoil has been about
That and the rumors of who you've been screwing

I'm not burying my head in the sand
I say this with peace, love and understanding
I'm glad you're at some kind of peaceful place now
But darling you were definitely the last one of us standing

When you gypsy faded on us
I needed to say goodbye
But you gypsy faded on us

I guess there's always a chance of us coming back together
But that seems unlikely in this kind of weather
I just never saw it coming so forgive me the shock
Of becoming a stranger walking down my own block

I'm getting over it though
You are fading from my view
And soon I hope you will be gone
As I have been gone for you
I do however want to say that I wish you the best
Past the anger of betrayal and the need to second guess

When you gypsy faded on us
I needed to say goodbye
But you gypsy faded on us
Bye, bye

And I don't feel you anymore, oh
We were holding phantom hands
And I don't feel you anymore, oh
We were holding phantom hands

I don't want to stir this all back up
But leaving it vague has proved extra painful for me
It's easier to deal with things like this when they are clear
Whereas once I was blind, I can finally see
And like that old saying goes, when you let your bird fly
She comes back to you if she is really yours and free
Well this time you didn't come back so I guess you weren't mine
I still love you of course but I let go of the need

When you gypsy faded on us
I needed to say goodbye
But you gypsy faded on us
Bye, bye

Now you get what you wanted
Not to have anyone
Just to be all alone
Like a breeze inside a stone...

Why won't you do it with me?
I want to do it with you.

You are my bad boy
My little pile of joy.

When I saw you
I knew you were the one.
The way you looked at me
When it had only just begun.

And I went crazy again today, lookin' for a strand to climb
Lookin' for a little hope
Baby said he couldn't stay, wouldn't put his lips to mine
And a failure to kiss is a failure to cope
And I said honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on, put a little love here in my void
He said it's all in your head and I said so's everything but he didn't get it
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy

She's got her ticket
I think she's gonna use it
Think she's gonna fly away...

Geek out.

You could have spared
her -- oh but no
Messiahs need
people dying in their
name

Shift gears real fast to old Chicago.

You could smell it
So you left me on my own
To complete the mission
Now I'm leaving it all behind

I'm going hunting
I'm the hunter...

The songs I can't stop listening to (12/21/12)

What a week. National tragedy. Oy. Also, the holidays. Ugh.

1. Lucero - "Sometimes"
2. Beirut - "The Penalty"
3. Tom Waits - "Ol' 55"
4. Low - "Just Like Christmas"
5. Kristin Hersh - "Rubidoux"
6. Destroyer - "Rubies"
7. The Innocence Mission - "No Storms Come"
8. Mayer Hawthorne and the County - "Just Ain't Gonna Work Out"
9. De La Soul w/ Jungle Brothers & Q-Tip from A Tribe Called Quest - "Buddy"

Hometown boys.

The road from Tennessee
It shakes and rattles to the bone
The hills of Arkansas are filled with haunted lakes and ghosts
Oh, and sometimes I hear them on those lonesome nights
Oh, and sometimes I hear them call to me
Boy, you must find your own way
No man goes beyond his days
You and your brothers watch out for each other always

Like an ancient day and I'm on trial
Let them seize the way, this once was an island
And I could not stay for I believed them
Left for the lights always in season

And now the sun's coming up, I'm riding with Lady Luck,
freeway cars and trucks,
Stars beginning to fade, and I lead the parade

Here, a Christmas song that doesn't suck:

I hope you find your hunger
in a hungry world

Find your way
Discover things that are dark
Shadowy figures babbling on about typical rural shit
I wave bye to them in a modern way and increase my stay at
the dock of the bay

So I started listening to this song randomly on the day of the Sandy Hook shootings, and then yesterday a close friend lost a lot in an actual storm, and it was even more poignant, so this is sort of about that for me this week:

I have desired to go
Oh, I have asked to go
Where a few lilies blow
To fields where flies no sharp and sided hail
And springs not fail
And springs not fail

And I have asked to be
Oh, I have asked to be
Out of the swing of the sea
Where the green swell is in the heavens won
And no storms come
And no storms come

If you like good, current soul, Mayer Hawthorne is for you.

And if you are awesome and like old hip-hop, then De La Soul is definitely for you.

The songs I can't stop listening to (12/14/12)

1. Los Muñequitos de Matanzas - "Coros de Clave"
2. Here We Go Magic - "How Do I Know"
3. Presidents Of The United States Of America - "Lump" (live Daytrotter Session)
4. Paul Duncan - "Red Eagle"
5. David Berkeley - "All Those Ashes"
6. Tame Impala - "Desire Be, Desire Go"
7. Michael Bublé - "A Foggy Day (In London Town)"
8. Cake - "Open Book"

So we start with a little Cuban rumba music. Something different.

How do I know if I love you?
When you've drawn the imaginary line
The way that you walk in two steps behind
How do I know if I love you?

You know you love this song.

This song, by Paul Duncan, is absolutely beautiful.

As is this song by David Berkeley. I saw him open for Garrison Starr and was sold from the first few notes he sang.

Feel it come
I don't know how long it's gonna stay with me
I'll let desire be
Desire go

Just a great version of this old song.

But you're caught in your own glory
You are believing your own stories
Writing your own headlines
Ignoring your own deadlines
But now you've gotta write them all again.

The songs I can't stop listening to 12/7/12

Analyzing the emotion of "anger" this week. I'm not an impetuous person, and I'm extremely slow to anger. But when my anger is activated, wow; and when the proverbial straw breaks the camel's back, sometimes one has no choice but to let loose. Some of these songs work within those ideas, and others are perfect for the calm that comes after the storm.

1. Calexico - "Black Heart"
2. Nickel Creek - "Ode To A Butterfly"
3. Philip Glass - "Closing" (from Glassworks)
4. Michael Musika - "The Spellbound Traveler Loses All Possession"
5. Phosphorescent - "Little" (Pts. 1 and 2)
6. Jason Lytle - "Your Final Setting Sun"
7. The Wedding Present - "You're Dead"
8. Tori Amos - "Winter"
9. David Mead - "Chutes And Ladders"

Sifting through the remains
One man's close pursuit is another man's
Last chance, make it through the divide
Last chance, suffer the weight or get buried by this

Black heart, sweeping over the land
Black heart, crawling its way
To the four corners of the world

I could listen to this Nickel Creek tune forever, I think.

And the calming brilliance of Philip Glass.

tomorrow I'll be leaving on a train
...
I'll probably place your picture in some book
with other photographs
to remind me every time that I should look
and maybe realize all the precious times
that I have left behind

it was the darkest darkest night
in the worstest part of town
and the dirtiest dirtiest rain
was falling falling down
and the blackest blackest man
with the smallest smallest child
riding on his shoulders
with the biggest biggest smile
and her biggest biggest hair
made the darkest softest ring
the perfect little halo
on her perfect little head

That light you see is the setting sun
I know you seen a few friend but tonight is gonna be your final one
That light you see is the setting sun
I know you love this life but say goodbye this is your final setting sun

This is just an epic break-up song. If you're going through that, you'll appreciate it.

when you buried your face into my chest
your little hiding place, i would never have guessed
what a little cheat you are
what a liar you'd turn out to be
how we even got this far
is a mystery

...
I know we won't be making up because...
Bang bang! You're dead!

...

So now want to apologize well
that comes as no surprise
cause i can read you
and i don't need you
this time you went too far
and i know exactly what you are
i understand you
and i can't stand you

but how come during times like this
i still want your touch and i want your kiss
it's insane and i can't explain why
you're not the one for me although
i just can't seem to let you go
you appall me
Okay, call me...

i run off where the DRIFTS GET DEEPER
sleeping beauty trips me with a frown
i hear a voice
"you must learn to stand up for yourself
cause i can't always be around"

he says when you gonna make up your mind
when you gonna love you as much as i do
when you gonna make up your mind
cause things are gonna CHANGE so fast
all the white horses are still in bed
i tell you that i'll always want you near
you say that things change my dear

And we'll cancel out all the hate, anger 'n' reflection songs with this sweet love ditty from David Mead:

The songs I can't stop listening to 11/30/12

1. Marnie Stern - "Transparency Is The New Mystery"
2. iammiwhoami - "; john"
3. Active Child ft. How To Dress Well - "Playing House (Houses remix)"
4. Phosphorescent - "Reasons To Quit" (Willie Nelson cover)
5. Tori Amos - "iieee"
6. Rage Against The Machine - "Calm Like A Bomb"
7. Barenaked Ladies - "In The Drink"

Marnie Stern rocks, hard.

In order to see it
You've got to believe it
I do.
You said to try patience
I know that I'm ready
I'm waiting for you
You're with them
Can't you tell?
You're like me
I'm too late
You've got her.

If you listen to nothing else in this mix, listen to iamamiwhoami. Epic and beautiful, both sonically and visually.

May the god of me protect my soul
As I stay a little while longer
In this dusty rabbit hole
To sing my song chained onto your bed.

Don't want to be in love just with any body
I'm tired of being just  Mr. Anybody
So baby come with me, let's just make a body, between us
I need you to see me

Reasons to quit I can't afford the habit all the time
I need to be sober I need to write some new songs that will rhyme
Reasons to quit they have no rhyme or reason when you're high
And the reasons to quit don't outnumber all the reasons why

just say yes
you little arsonist
you're so sure you can save
every hair on my chest
just say yes

We need more like Rage Against the Machine right now. There's a reason so many of the Powers That Be consider them to be so subversive:

This ain't subliminal
Feel the critical mass approach horizon
The pulse of the condemned
Sounds off America's demise
The anti-myth rhythm rock shocker
Yes I spit fire
Hope lies in the smoldering rubble of empires

I'm in the drink for love
And I want to drink your love
Swimmin' a swim in the suds
I want to drink your
Blood!

Jeff Buckley - Grace

The first of two Jeff Buckley posts. In this one, I'm simply going to post the entire Grace record, start to finish. I can't possibly excerpt from it, and if you have never really listened to the record all the way though, you need to. I spent a solid week or so listening to Jeff recently and whenever I do that, it knocks me off my axis for a bit. It reminds me that any moment I'm not spending pursuing my own musical passions is a wasted moment of my life. That's been coming into focus for me anyway lately, so spending a week immersed in the limited oeuvre of Jeff Buckley just made it worse/better, depending on my perspective at any given second.

Right now I'm just pissed off, but maybe I'll use that energy to redirect things.

So here's Grace. In the next post, I'll include some of my favorites from Jeff's posthumous releases.

The track list:

1. Mojo Pin
2. Grace
3. Last Goodbye
4. Lilac Wine
5. So Real
6. Hallelujah
7. Lover, You Should Have Come Over
8. Corpus Christi Carol
9. Eternal Life
10. Dream Brother

The songs I can't stop listening to 11/23/12

I hate the holidays.

1. The Byrds - "Mr. Tambourine Man" (Bob Dylan cover)
2. The Mountain Goats - "For Charles Bronson"
3. Fucked Up - "Queen Of Hearts"
4. Tori Amos - "Cruel" (live, from To Venus And Back)
5. The XX - "Infinity"
6. Old 97's - "Brown Haired Daughter"
7. Billy Preston - "Both Ways"

Though I know that evenin's empire has returned into sand
Vanished from my hand,
Left me blindly here to stand still but not sleeping.
My weariness amazes me, I'm branded on my feet,
I have no one to meet,
And the ancient empty street's too dead for dreaming.

Hey! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there's no place I'm going to...

Set your sights on good fortune
Concentrate
Pull back the hammer
Try to hold the gun straight

"Hello, my name is David, your name is Veronica, let's be
together, let's fall in love. Hello my name is David, your name is 
Veronica -- let's be together until the stars go out."
All we need is for something to give, the dam bursts open, we
suddenly live.
"The boot off my throat, life is returning, the boot off my throat,
let's all emote."

so don't give me respect don't give me a piece of your preciousness
flaunt all she's got in your old neighbourhood
I'm sure she'll make a few friends
even the rain bows down let us pray as you cock-cock-cock your mane
no cigarettes only peeled HAVANA'S for you I can be cruel
I don't know why
why can't my ba.ll.oo.n stay up in a perfectly windy sky
I can be cruel I don't know why
dance with the sufi's celebrate your top ten in the charts of pain
lover brother bogenvilla my vine twists around your need
even the rain is sharp like today as you sh-sh-shock me sane
no cigarettes only peeled HAVANA's for you I can be cruel

I can't give it up
To someone else's touch
Because I care too much

Could you tell
I was left lost and lonely
Things ain't worked out my way

Wish the best for you
Wish the best for me
Wished for infinity
If that ain't me

And I tried
Tried to leave it all alone
...
But I can't
So I won't

And finally:

I need a love that goes both ways.

Vivaldi

So this Vivaldi recording came in the mail the other day, and I keep coming back to this recording of Summer from The Four Seasons. It's absolutely exhilarating. If you have perfect pitch, as I do, it might bother you, but try to get past it.

So here, the three movements of Vivaldi's Violin Concerto in G Minor, Op. 8/2, RV 315, as played by Elizabeth Blumenstock with the Philharmonia Baroque Orchestra, conducted by Nicholas McGegan.

The songs I can't stop listening to 11/16/12

1. Ferraby Lionheart - "Dear Corinne"
2. Philip Glass - "The Plant-Boy's Song" (from The Witches Of Venice)
3. INXS - "Wishing Well"
4. The Ting Tings - "Great DJ"
5. Bon Iver - "Beth/Rest"
6. White Rabbits - "Temporary"
7. Deerhoof - "Fresh Born"
8. Björk - "Vökuró"

Every song I hear by Ferraby Lionheart, I adore him more:

But when the night falls back over me,
And the moon crawls over the sea.
If my body breaks, then my heart you'll take this time.
And if the wind rushes into my bones, picks me up and delivers me home,
and if my body breaks, then my heart you'll take this time.

A lovely piece from Philip Glass.

Oh, INXS:

Oh, The Ting Tings:

"Beth/Rest" is probably my favorite song of the past year:

all the news at the door
such a revelry
well, it's hocked inside of everything you said to me

you never let it on, all you wanted was a little disaster...

Just a song about the birth of Bambi. Such a jejune topic.

And also, a beautiful Icelandic folk song, backed by a choir:

Michael Bublé

So I got on a standards kick for a couple of weeks there. Dunno why. It started with Michael Bublé, as he covers so many of the "greats," and does them quite credibly in my opinion. Here are some of my favorites:

Save The Last Dance For Me

Home

I've Got You Under My Skin

You And I

Fever

Kissing A Fool

For Once In My Life

The Way You Look Tonight

Song For You (feat. Chris Botti)

The songs I can't stop listening to (11/10/12)

My weekly iTunes shuffle was fun this weekend. The My Bloody Valentine song was particularly welcome.

1. Cibo Matto - "Moonchild"
2. Youth Lagoon - "Afternoon"
3. The Shins - "Phantom Limb"
4. Teedra Moses - "On Fire (Remix)"
5. White Lies - "To Lose My Life"
6. Paul Westerberg - "Love Untold"
7. My Bloody Valentine - "Only Shallow"
8. William Elliott Whitmore - "When Push Comes To Love"

Time always shows me it's hard to understand how to be myself.

I'm thinking of you dear
Every moment I'm awake.
I tie my hands with woe, I want to escape.
Did I make a mistake?

So we just skirt the hallway sides
A phantom and a fly
Follow the lines and wonder why
There's no connection

Teedra. Just awesome.

I said I've got no time, I have to go
And I was more right than I will ever know
He said my heart is faded, well mine's regret
And left him crying next to the chapel steps

Let's grow old together and die at the same time...

They were gonna meet on a crummy little street
It never came to be I'm told
Does anyone recall the saddest love of all
The one that lets you fall nothing to hold
It's the love untold...

(Look)
In the mirror
She's not there

One of the greatest songs of the '90's. I've listened to this at full blast approximately twenty times since yesterday morning.

Well you're a rainstorm, a fire and a trainwreck
All wrapped up in ribbons and lace
You're a fistful of roadside flowers and rain
Just the soil in a dimestore vase

And I can't seem to understand
But you got my heart in your hands

That song above, right there, is one of the best things I've discovered in my iTunes in months.

The songs I can't stop listening to 11/2/12

All these "can't stop listening to" posts are based on random iTunes shuffles, so I can get to know my insanely large music collection better. Sometimes, though, I think iTunes has an uncanny way of knowing what I want to hear, and what I will relate to lyrically. Seriously uncanny.

1. Ben Folds Five - "Best Imitation Of Myself"
2. Panda Bear - "You Can Count On Me"
3. Noise Addict - "Chris Martin's Frown"
4. Wild Nothing - "Shadow"
5. Jim Croce - "Time In A Bottle"
6. M83 - "Midnight City"
7. The Chemical Brothers - "Got Glint?"
8. Creedence Clearwater Revival - "Before You Accuse Me" (Bo Diddley cover)
9. Modeselektor - "Berlin"

Ben Folds Five:

Oh, a song that reminds me of several people...

I feel like a quote out of context
Withholding the rest
So I can be for you what you want to see
I got the gesture and sound
Got the timing down
It's uncanny, yeah, you think it was me
Do you think I should take a class
To lose my Southern accent
Did I make me up, or make the face till it stuck
I do the best imitation of myself
...
Last night I was east with them
And west within
Trying to be for you what you want to see
But I can't help it with you
The good and bad comes through
Don't want you hanging out with
No one but me
Now if it's all the same
It comes from the same place
And if my mind's somewhere else
You won't be able to tell
I do the best imitation of myself

Panda Bear:

Know you can count on me
...
Who am I if I'm not up for it
Where are you if I'm not up for it
Want to put a bubble round you
With a force field switch
Keep you secured just a little bit
But I know a secret child is just
A silly trick
Who grows up to lose a force field switch

Ben Lee (Noise Addict):

Just a cute little minute-long song. It starts about 48 seconds in.

Wild Nothing:

Oh why is your hate so addicting and I
Well I wonder where you've been
I don't see you often

I try to feel something for you
But that's all I can do
Give my shadow to you
...
I'd go with you if you asked me to
But we wouldn't get too far
Two strangers in the dark

Jim Croce:

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you

M83:

This song is infectious and kind of annoying, but also great.

You know, the song is not actually that annoying, until you watch this, which is just so great.



The Chemical Brothers:

Great. Just great.

Creedence Clearwater Revival:

Before you accuse me, take a look at yourself..

'Nuff said.

Modeselektor:

Another one to chill out to...

The songs I can't stop listening to (10/31/12)

1. Sam Bush - "Big Mon"
2. Panic! At The Disco - "Behind The Sea"
3. Xiu Xiu - "Gray Death"
4. Ferraby Lionheart - "Before We're Dead"
5. Girls - "Solitude"
6. The Hundred In The Hands - "Pigeons"
7. Turn Off Your Television - "I Just Cleaned The Floor"
8. Zola Jesus - "Trust Me"
9. Graham Colton - "First Week"
10. John Vanderslice - "Time To Go"

Blue-grasm. A couple of people know what that means because I coined it. For the rest of you, well, it should be self-evident.

We're all too small to talk to God
Yes, we're all too smart to talk to God

You were beautiful when I loved you
...
You were beautiful when I lost you

I still believe there's time to live before we're dead

But if I settle down though
It won't be with the blues
So I'll keep on moving right along
Maybe I'll settle down with you
Someday
Some you

He is here and not here at all.

I just cleaned the floor and it feels better than before...

(A simple, yet profound song about how good it feels to clean things up. Maybe there's a deeper meaning, or maybe it's just about fucking organizing things inside and and out and...oh, oh, oh, there's the deeper meaning.)

This Zola Jesus song may be my favorite discovery of the past month. Just...wow.

When you're lost never look down
When you're lost know I'll be around
In the meantime when you are found
I'll be here
I told you to trust me
Yes in the meantime I'll be here
Trust me
I know that you're afraid but I'm here
Hanging on
Trust me
'Cause I will be here
I told you to trust me

Are you far away, in a new life?
Are you wearing the same dress that you wore
When we met the first night?
Are you feeling it, in a different time?
Are you telling the same jokes that you told me
When we met the first time?

We'll never make it back
It's time to go
Been banished to the cracks
Of molten ash
Don't know what you had
It's time to go

Steady Pull

In the 90's, quite a few female singer-songwriters got their due. Quite a few didn't, in my opinion. Jonatha Brooke is one who didn't quite get the platform she should have had. She started out with The Story years and years ago and then went off on her own a while later. Steady Pull was released on her own label, and while I don't love every song on the record, the ones that are good are OH MY GOD good. Here are the ones I love the most.

1. Walking
2. Red Dress
3. Your House
4. New Dress (with Neil Finn)
5. I'll Take It From Here
6. What We Are
7. Deny

I'm walking in your shoes, for just a mile or two
My heels are raw and torn, but I will dig them in for you
I see the pain you've known, and the seeds of hate you've sown
They're scattered on the ground, and I can barely step around
...
Insanity and pain, who will take the
Blame beyond your will and whimsy
No excuses, no more flimsy lies

I'm running out of faith
And I'm tired of saving face
And where the hell is grace
In this forsaken place

Sheesh.



Well we all get what we deserve 
I get him and you get her 
Given the chance I still defer 
And maybe we will always wonder 
Why, it came to this



Take me down to your house 
Show me where you live 
Room by room, all the things you cherish 
 Tell me where you're going 
Show me where you've been 
Year by year, all the things that you wished



I'm afraid you'll see right through me 
But I'm afraid that I will never get enough...



This next song is just incredible...well, they all are, but this record is so uplifting, so healing...

Everything that I held true has failed me 
And nothing is as clear as it once seemed 
You have told me who I am and what to do and where to go 
I have listened and I'm trapped inside your dream 

 But I'll take it from here 
I'll succeed or I will fail but I will decide 
I'll take it from here 
Catch my breath and count to ten and 
Open my eyes... 
Again



And this is God's own creation 
And it is such a familiar scene 
The endless conversation of missing you 
Of things not being what they seem 

What we are and what we were 
Will never be the same 
What we are and what we were 
Will never be the same 

So I will love without misgiving 
This crooked little heart I give to you 
'Cause there's order in the meaning 
Of all that's innocent but true



Oh my Lord, why's it taken you so long? 
To give me grace and the dignity to right these wrongs 
I will lead today, and I will follow you tomorrow 
When the gloaming of my life, brings the promise of a peaceful night 

And there's just one thing that I need to know 
That you will not deny, you will not deny me now

The songs I can't stop listening to (10/19/12)

Songs that reflect our political situation, songs that reflect renewed hope as regards life and love, The Stone Roses 'splaining a few things in one of my favorite kiss-off songs off all time, and also, I've been listening to a lot of instrumental music lately. I've been on a classical kick, but this time we've got the great American composer Copland, as well as great jazz from Cannonball Adderley and just pure genius from Sufjan Stevens.

1. Radiohead - "The Daily Mail"
2. Leftover Salmon - "This Is The Time"
3. Aaron Copland: "Nocturne" (played by Gil Shaham & Andre Previn)
4. Collective Soul - "Precious Declaration"
5. The Stone Roses - "I Am The Resurrection"
6. Local Natives - "World News"
7. Tori Amos - "Professional Widow (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' Mix)"
8. Sufjan Stevens - "Movement II: Sleeping Invader"
9. Cannonball Adderley - "Clouds"


The moon is high up on a mountain
The lunatics have taken over the asylum
Waiting on the rapture
...
Where's the truth what's the use
I'm hanging around lost and found
And when you're here innocent
Fat chance, no plan
No regard for human life

This isn't a time for giving up
This is the time to be strong
I know life is never easy
When you're holding out so long

I know that we can make it
With a little bit of faith to get us by
This isn't the time for faking
This is the time for us to fly

This isn't the time for fighting
This is the time for peace
Whether you're on the left
Or the right wing
This is the time for release

We don't have time to count our mistakes
We can leave them in the past
This isn't the time for keeping score
It's time to make the moment last

This isn't the time for losing hope
This is the time to learn
Well, I know we can find out way
If you're ready to receive

There's always so much to learn
As you wander through this life
And timing is everything
This is the time, the night

(written by Drew Emmitt, all rights reserved)

This Copland Nocturne is just exquisite. Copland is exquisite.

Once i jumped through hoops of fire
High and far as you required
I was blind but now I see
Salvation has discovered me

Don't waste your words I don't need
Anything from you
I don't care where you've been or 
What you plan to do

I am the resurrection and I am the life
I couldn't ever bring myself
To hate you as I'd
Like

your phone goes off with a picture of your mother
it's five to six and she can't find your brother
and while normally you'd yell and scream
instructing her to go and find him on her own
but calmly you're exiting,
and telling her that you are headed on your way home
she does not know what to say,
just glad you're on your way home
you turn off your phone in a different tone
as you think,
the bad feeling so bad makes the good so good

honey bring it close to my lips
it's gotta be big

Sufjan Stevens work is mostly genius level, but his instrumental compositions are quite a revelation.

And then round it out with a little bossa nova.

Brahms: Serenade No. 1 in D Major, Op. 11

This is my soundtrack for the evening. And also the second Serenade, which I may post later.

Mix CD!

Somebody gave me a mix CD. This makes me happy, because I am still 16 in many ways, and I love giving and receiving mixtapes. Why people no do this anymore? (Oh yeah, because iTunes blah blah blah) I knew a lot of the music on it, but there were a few pleasant surprises from artists whose music I already loved, as well as a few things from people I'd never heard. Here are my favorite songs from this mix:

1. P!nk - "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)"
2. Yeasayer - "Reagan's Skeleton"
3. Jason Mraz - "You Fckn Did It" (live)
4. Vampire Weekend - "I'm Goin' Down" (Bruce Springsteen cover)
5. K'Naan - "Wavin' Flag"
6. Jonathan Clay - "Heart On Fire"
7. David Guetta ft. Sia - "Titanium"

I adore P!nk, but I tend to do it from afar, as I do with most Top 40 music. Yes, I have lots of it on my iTunes, but it's not what I listen to on a regular basis. So, I didn't know this P!nk song, except maybe overhearing it on the radio somewhere, or in a friend's car or something. Regardless, I've been paying more and more attention to her ever since that Grammy performance of "Glitter In The Air."


Yeasayer is a band I absolutely adore, but I hadn't heard much of their new stuff. "Madder Red" from their Odd Blood record is probably one of my favorite songs of the past several years.


Jason Mraz, another one I adore. I have the record this song is from, but apparently I do not have the special "deluxe" version, which includes this song.


Vampire Weekend. Love this band, and always have. Didn't know they had tackled this Springsteen song. The results are pleasing.


So, this K'Naan song really hits a certain nerve in my musical taste. I have the wanderlust, especially as regards exploring places like Africa where I've never been, and where American travelers don't as often venture. Granted, the song is considerably more commercial and pop-py than, say, something from Amadou & Mariam, but it's also got that whole "we are the world, we are the children, we are all tied together in one big global community" vibe, and that resonates with me, in both cheesy and valid ways. Makes me want to explore.


So this Jonathan Clay song came from a Hannah Montana or Miley Cyrus movie or something? I would never have noticed. A sweet, simple love song.


David Guetta is something that I have seen posted on gay men's Facebook walls (I am a gay man, so I am talking shit about my own), much like I have seen that Scissor Sisters "Kiki" song on their walls, and have thus summarily ignored. That said, Sia is kinda cool, and this song works.

Cassadaga

Cassadaga is one of the best out of Bright Eyes' oeuvre. If you're feeling existential or lost, this record will either help, or maybe it'll just help you wallow. Regardless, it's brilliant.

1. "Four Winds"
2. "When The Brakeman Comes My Way"
3. "Hot Knives"
4. "Make A Plan To Love Me"
5. "Classic Cars" [ft. Gillian Welch]
6. "Middleman"
7. "No One Would Riot For Less"
8. "Lime Tree"

The Bible is blind. The Torah is deaf. The Qur'an is mute.
If you burned them all together you'd get close to the truth

When panic grips your body and your heart is a hummingbird
Raven thoughts blacken your mind until you're breathing in reverse
All your friends and sedatives mean well but make it worse
Every reassurance just magnifies the doubt
Better find yourself a place to level out

Oh, I've made love, yeah, I've been fucked, so what?
I'm a cartoon, you're a full moon, let's stay up

Life is too short
Death doesn't ask
It don't owe you that

Some things you lose
You don't get back
So just know what you have

And make a plan to love me sometime soon

And I keep looking for that blindfold faith
Lighting candles to a cynical saint
Who wants the last laugh at the fly trapped in the windowsill tape
You can go right out of your mind trying to escape
From the panicked paradox of day to day
If you can't understand something then it's best to be afraid
...
And they keep moving at a glacial pace
Turning circles in a memory maze
I made a new cast of the death mask that is gonna cover my face
I had to change the combination to the safe
Hide it all behind a wall let people wait
And never trust a heart that is so bent it can't break

So I have become the Middleman
The gray areas are fine
The 'I don't know, the 'maybe so'
Is the only real reply
It is the only true reply

So love me now
Hell is coming
Kiss my mouth
Hell is here
...
Wake, Baby, wake but leave that blanket around you there is nowhere as safe
I'm leaving this place but there is nothing I'm planning to take
Just you

Don't be so amazing or I'll miss you too much
I felt something that I had never touched
...
So pleased with a daydream that now living is no good
I took off my shoes and walked into the woods
I felt lost and found with every step I took

And those are the words that end the record. Composing and songwriting are truly a weird art. Either experience is transcendent or there are Muses guiding writers along their/our ways. I think it's both.

The songs I can't stop listening to 10/13/12

Love. Loss. Transition. Healing. Rebirth.

1. Bon Iver - "Skinny Love"
2. Los Campesinos! - "Miserabilia"
3. Brandi Carlile - "A Promise To Keep"
4. Craig Armstrong feat. Elizabeth Fraser - "This Love"
5. The Kills - "DNA"
6. Bowerbirds - "Knives, Snakes and Mesquite"
7. Lambchop - "Is A Woman"
8. Kinetic Stereokids - "Twisted Thoughts"
9. Jimmy Eat World - "The Middle"


Come on skinny love just last the year 
Pour a little salt we were never here 
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my 
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer 

 I tell my love to wreck it all 
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall 
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my 
Right in the moment this order's tall 

And I told you to be patient 
And told you to be fine 
And I told you to be balanced 
And I told you to be kind 
In the morning I'll be with you 
But it will be a different "kind" 
I'll be holding all the tickets 
And you'll be owning all the fines 

Come on skinny love what happened here 
Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere 
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my 
Sullen load is full; so slow on the split 

And I told you to be patient 
And I told you to be fine 
And I told you to be balanced 
And I told you to be kind
And now all your love is wasted? 
And then who the hell was I? 
And now I'm breaking at the britches 
And at the end of all your lines 

Who will love you? 
Who will fight? 
Who will fall far behind?

(lyrics by Justin Vernon; all rights reserved)

He whispered,
"Oh my God, this really is a joy to behold"
I thought he said "it's a joy to be held" so I held him too close.
It was a grave mistake, he never came back again

I still talk to you in my sleep
I don't say much 'cause the hurt runs too deep
I gave you the moon and the stars to keep
But you gave them back to me

The hill I'm walkin' up is gettin' good and steep
But I'm still looking for a promise even I can't keep

...

I still whisper sweet words to you
And when I'm busy with nothing to do
I pray to God that my words might ring true
And that your words might reach me too

...

My heart's in piece's so please understand
I'm tryin' to jump but I've nowhere to land
So give me your heart and I'll give you my hand
And try as goddamn hard as I can

(lyrics by Brandi Carlile; all rights reserved)

This love
This love is a strange love
A faded kind of mellow
This love
This love
I think I'm gonna fall again

True I had my chance
True true true I had those wild charms for you
And oh oh oh oh oh my fire burned them out

But we will not be moved by it.

And I am a peach down in the forest of knives, snake and mesquite,
Where all is a dream, all eyes on me, and I bite my nails till they bleed

I see your claws come off and your knees come out
Like an iceberg, like a secret offer.
Sailing the waves of that icy morning,
While all in between there's a new wind blowing.

Sit beside me on a star
If you wake me up tonight

You are now at a deeper, healthier level
Deeper than before

...

Every day in every way I'm getting better and better
Healthier and healthier
Happier and happier

That's for sure.

Hey 
You know they're all the same
You know you're doing better on your own so don't buy in
Live right now
Just be yourself
It doesn't matter if that's good enough for someone else

...

Hey
Don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on
Just do your best
Do everything you can
Don't you worry what their bitter hearts are going to say

The songs I can't stop listening to 10/6/12

This mix is schizophrenic on the subject of love. That's all.

1. Ra Ra Riot - "Too Dramatic"
2. Diamond Rings - "It's Not My Party"
3. Simon & Garfunkel - "The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)"
4. North Highlands - "Here's"
5. Love Is All - "Bigger Bolder"
6. Coldplay - "Clocks"
7. J. Roddy Walston and The Business - "Used To Did"
8. Dirty Projectors - "A Labor More Restful"

You're too dramatic 
I don't understand it



and if you wanna throw a party i can cry tonight 
you would cry too if it happened to you right 
i keep falling in and out of love with you
i never loved anyone the way i do 
you



I got no deeds to do 
No promises to keep 
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep 
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me 
Life I love you, all is groovy



When's the last time we out of our way just to be together?
... 
We don't care anymore
... 
This is where fun goes to die
This is where love grows old and tired
...
We will grow apart



Faster, louder 
My love for you 
Bigger, bolder 
My love for you 

There's no sense trying to make this smart 
I simply hate every minute that we're apart



You are, you are 

And nothing else compares



I used to did 
But now I didn't 
I used to did 
But now I didn't 
I used to did did a did a did 
Did did love you

 Simple as that, really.



Have you stopped looking 
In order to put yourself 
To some real purpose 
Or have you simply found a labor more restful 
Than big hearted yearning 
And knowing that you're incomplete



 As I said, schizophrenic.

Digital Ash In A Digital Urn

I think I'm going to listen to Bright Eyes non-stop for a couple of weeks.

1. Gold Mine Gutted
2. Arc Of Time (Time Code)
3. Take It Easy (Love Nothing)
4. Ship In A Bottle
5. Light Pollution
6. Easy/Lucky/Free

But you think about yourself too much and you ruin who you love.



So you nurse your love like a wounded dove in the covered cage of night. Every star is crossed by frenetic thoughts that separate and then collide.



But if you stay too long inside my memory, I will trap you in a song tied to a melody and I will keep you there so you can't bother me.



I want to be the surgeon that cuts you open and fixes all of life's mistakes. I want to be the house that you were raised in. The only place where you feel safe.



I bet the stars seemed so close at the end.

I am obsessed with this song.



Honey don't you weep. Don't you weep for them. There is nothing as lucky, as easy or free.

The songs I can't stop listening to (9/29/12)

Stuff I'm listening to this week, and yes, the first one is actually me. The other night, I was in the presence of Ms. Carla Thomas, you know, the one who did "Tramp" with Otis Redding, daughter of Rufus Thomas, and I sat down at the piano and played and sang Nat King Cole's "Nature Boy." She loved it, so I took the extremely frightening step of doing that Nina Simone song for her. At that point she started making requests. Apparently I really should just get over my fears and make music my entire life. So that's a demo version of the Nina song that I recorded some months back. It's better now, because I'm better now than I was 6 months ago, but anyway. The Ben Folds/Rufus Wainwright cover is just ridiculous in how good it is. Amy LaVere is another great Memphis artist, and "A Great Divide" is about the need to escape from a relationship, a person, a break-up. I've been there. The Lykke Li song is about a person's willingness to follow another person to their greatest depths and, well, let's just say I've been there too. I have no fucking idea what the Suuns song is about, since I can't really understand the lyrics and can't find them online. That said, it's catchy as hell.

1. Evan Hurst - "I Want A Little Sugar In My Bowl" (Nina Simone cover)
2. Lindstrøm & Christabelle - "Baby Can't Stop (Aeroplane Remix)
3. Metronomy - "She Wants"
4. Ben Folds & Rufus Wainwright - "Careless Whisper" (George Michael cover)
5. Amy LaVere - "A Great Divide"
6. Suuns - "Up Past The Nursery"
7. Lykke Li - "I Follow Rivers"

I Want A Little Sugar In My Bowl by Evan Hurst

Jay Brannan

The Goddamned record. Some of it is really self-indulgent, but when it's good, it's really good. The realization that some experiences aren't necessarily universal, noticing how other writer's songs can seem autobiographical, and also noticing as a songwriter myself how songs I wrote a year ago are now imprinting the stories of other people I know onto themselves. Music is weird.

i don't know where we're going
but i know we've gone too far and
i hope it isn't showing
but i think i love you and
i can't believe you're leaving
when you had me believing
i could feel again
...
i've shown up for you
in ways that boy never would, but
i know you'll go back to him and
maybe you should, but
hope you don't go backwards
cuz i'm going on ahead and
one day you'll wish that you had
stuck with me instead



crazy about each other
we both have fucked up pasts
but when we are together
we have a fucking blast



to the boy who should've loved me
from the boy you could've had
i promise not to send this letter
i wouldn't want you to feel bad
for not opening your heart to me
for your unavailability
i guess you're not required to like me
but did you fake it just to spite me?
...
thanks for leading me on, but this time i'm gonna be strong
although your disinterest kinda came as a surprise cuz
you could the sin and the sadness and taste the gin and the madness
on my lips and in my eyes, well, i can't help that i want to see you again
but it takes two to start a string-along-song and only one to make it end

The songs I can't stop listening to (9/22/12)

Interesting little group of songs. We start introspective, shucking someone or something away that's been holding us down. We escape. We jump into some Rage Against The Machine, which is highly appropriate considering where we are with this election. A jaunty little tune about how Mormonism is a cult, but then another one about having a "mystic mind." And then finally introspective again, I'm "dreaming of you, but I don't want you anymore."

1. Tori Amos - "Talula" (live 10/3/01 Nashville)
2. The Raveonettes - "Suicide"
3. Rage Against The Machine - "Mic Check"
4. Shannon and the Clams - "The Cult Song"
5. Those Darlins - "Mystic Mind"
6. The Coral - "Dreaming Of You"

Yes. That specific live version of "Talula" is what I'm listening to. It's one of my favorite versions.

talula
talula
i don't want to lose him
he must be worth losing
if it is worth something
talula
talula
he's brand new now to you
wrapped in your papoose
your little fig newton

Tori Amos - "Talula" (live 10/3/01 Nashville, TN) 

Run run run away little girl
Get your fun in this trashy world
Empty-hearted boys by your side
Lick your lips and fuck suicide



This mic device I spit nonfiction 
Who got tha power 
This be my question 
Tha mass of tha few in this torn nation? 
Tha priest tha book or tha congregation? 
Tha politricks who rob and hold down your zone? 
Or those who give tha thieves tha key to their homes? 
Tha pig who's free to murder one Shucklak 
Or survivors who make a move and murder one back? 



Sick of the dancing sick of the chanting 
I don't wanna be in your cult no more 
Sick of the nikes sick of the kool-aid 
I don't wanna be in your cult no more 
Sick of moroni sick of nephi 
I don't wanna be in your cult no more



Open up my third eye
...
I got a mystic mind



Up in my lonely room
When I'm dreaming of you
Oh what can I do
I still need you, but
I don't want you now

Bon Iver

The thing I really can't stop listening to, and haven't been able to stop, for the past several weeks, is Bon Iver's self-titled record. Every time I think I'm done, I'm not. I love every song, and I can't pick favorites, and it works so well as a whole, so I'm going to post the whole thing. If you haven't heard it all, listen, and then go buy it.

1. Perth

I'm tearing up across your face
move dust through the light
to fide your name
...
still alive who you love
...
you're breaking your ground



2. Minnesota, WI

armour let it through, borne the arboretic truth you've been posing
sat down in the suit, fixed on up it wasn't you by finished closing
...
so carry on my dear, what is clear up in the daylight is we're hung here
fall is coming soon, a new year for the moon and the Hmong here



3. Holocene

"Someway, baby, it's part of me, apart from me."
you're laying waste to Halloween
you fucked it friend, it's on its head, it struck the street
you're in Milwaukee, off your feet
...
Christmas night, it clutched the light, the hallow bright
above my brother, I and tangled spines
we smoked the screen to make it what it was to be
now to know it in my memory:

...and at once I knew I was not magnificent



4. Towers

for the love, I'd fallen on
in the swampy August dawn
what a mischief you would bring young darling!
when the onus is not all your own
when you're up for it before you've grown



5. Michicant

aiming and it sunk and we were drunk and we had fleshed it out
...
love can hardly leave the room with your heart



6. Hinnom, TX

all this time
with your heart in mind
didn't you edit
...
armor, down
on the wettest ground
not to vet it



7. Wash.

I... I'm growing like the quickening hues
I... I'm telling darkness from lines on you



8. Calgary

Joy, it's all founded
pincher with the skin inside
You pinned me with your black sphere eyes
You know that all the rope's untied
I was only for to die beside



9. Lisbon, OH



10. Beth/Rest

all the news at the door
such a revelry
well, it's hocked inside of everything you said to me

it was found what we orphaned
didn't mention it would serve us picked
said your love is known
I'm standing up on it.
...
our love is a star
sure some hazardry
for the light before and after most indefinitely

danger has been stole away

The songs I can't stop listening to (9/16/12)

Here's what's on repeat right now. It's all kinda indie, and it's all sort of contemplative.

1. Delta Spirit - "Children"
2. Band Of Horses - "Compliments"
3. Fleet Foxes - "Mykonos"
4. Veronica Falls - "Beachy Head"
5. Arcade Fire - "Black Mirror"
6. Chad VanGaalen - "Sara"
7. Frightened Rabbit ft. Tracyanne Campbell - "Fuck This Place"

Children shut your eyes, we'll tell you what to see...

A good song for the current political climate.



I'm fixing a drink in the morning 
With the way things are 
You may have stayed too long
 ... 
 And do you got something to say 
Is there something coming over you? 
Do you got important things still left to do?


And you will go to Mykonos 
With a vision of a gentle coast 
And a sun to maybe dissipate 
Shadows of the mess you made 

 ... 

When a-walking brother don't you forget 
It ain't often that you'll ever find a friend



I'm gonna miss you 
When you're gone 

Beachy head



Their names are never spoken 
The curse is never broken



You consume my mind into silence


At the end, at the close 
Would you be good enough to take me home?

The songs I can't stop listening to (9/8/12)

I'm the mood for boys who write beautiful songs. And Kristin Hersh. Exploration, romantic vengeance, vengeful romance, hopeful romance, resignation, the hard road to making peace with what's happened, a quick visit back to the one who "cut you to the quick," meditation, the need for escape, and the realization that when the right one really does come along, you'd better be ready, lest you let life completely pass you by. Things on my mind this week, things running through these songs. Here's what I've been listening to on repeat this week:

1. Josh Ritter - "Another New World"
2. Pete Yorn - "Simonize"
3. Pete Yorn - "A Girl Like You"
4. The Beatles - "Don't Let Me Down"
5. Josh Rouse - "Start Again"
6. Kristin Hersh - "Quick"
7. Harold Budd & Brian Eno - "The Plateaux Of Mirror"
8. American Analog Set - "Hard To Find"
9. The Head and The Heart - "Coeur d'Alene"

The leading lights of the age all wondered among themselves what I would do next,
After all that I'd found, in my circles around the world, was there anything left?
"Gentlemen," I said, "I've studied the maps, and if what I am thinking is right,
There's another new world, at the top of the world, for whoever can break through the ice...

...

I won't call it rescue,
What brought me back here to this old world to drink and decline,
Pretend that the search for another new world was well worth the burning of mine.
But sometimes at night, in my dreams,
Comes the singing of some unheard tropical bird,
And I smile in my sleep,
Thinking Annabel Lee's finally made it to the top of the world.

An incredible song about the search.



A beautiful, romantic song about, ahem, a serial killer. I want to cover this song and the one after it together, but in the reverse order from which they appear on the record:

Hey
Don't take your life away
I think you'd rather stay
Follow me into the alleyway...



Someday
I'll look into her green eyes
And know that she'll come with me
A girl like you

Too many
Things I do not care for
But one things that I adore
Is a girl like you



I'm in love for the first time
Don't you know it's gonna last?
It's a love that lasts forever
It's a love that has no past

Don't let me down.



And now the pain subsides
And I have realized
That you have changed your mind
And I will start again

...

And all the pain subsides
And I have realized
With you I feel alive
And I can start again



who did you cut down to the quick?
you know it's true

hold back, you've been saved
hold your breath, you've been saved
hold your tongue, you've been saved

maintain your ground

...

can't make your mind up anymore
you're naked on the floor



Unwind.


We stay hard to find
'Cause it's too hard to take it
...
No, we can't fake it


You're in my soul now
You've gotta waste away with me...

The songs I can't stop listening to (9/2/12)

Here's the list of songs I've been listening to a lot this week. There seems to be a running theme going on about seizing life, love and empowerment.

1. Miles Davis, Bill Laswell - "He Loved Him Madly"
2. Nicki Minaj ft. Drake - "Moment 4 Life"
3. Willie Nelson - "This Face"
4. The New Pornographers - "The Spirit Of Giving"
5. The Beatles - "If I Fell"
6. Cass McCombs - "Harmonia"
7. Tori Amos & Natashya Hawley - "Job's Coffin"



Everybody dies but not everybody lives...



This face is all I have, worn and lived in
And lines below my eyes are like old friends
And this old heart's been beaten up
And my ragged soul has had things rough
And this face is all I have, worn and lived in



And remember that the wolves that you run with are wolves
Don't forget

They exist to give you something to regret, I'll beat them to it
With something sadder than that brass portrait
That shines through your morning din



If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
'Cause I've been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just holding hands

If I give my heart to you
I must be sure
From the very start
That you would love me more than her

If I trust in you oh please
Don't run and hide
If I love you too oh please
Don't hurt my pride like her...



Friend of mine
united by dream
make me a part of you
and I will you of me



Since time why do we women
give ourselves away?

We give ourselves away
Thinking somehow
That will make him want to stay

Make him stay

Job's coffin looks down
At the day you
Shut your power down

You must outcreate
That destructive tendency
Let your fire start to heal the fury...